Behind the Song - "Cold"

This is a song I wrote a few months back called “Cold,” and it feels monumental, as far as my originals go.

I first started writing when I was about eleven years old, so my repertoire is quite extensive, but it’s the feeling that came along with writing and finishing this one that made it stand out from the rest.

I wrote this song about the end of a relationship that felt like it had its grip wrapped tight around my entire sense of self.

I think people romanticize the idea of falling in love with your best friend, but they never acknowledge the reality of then losing two people when it all comes to an end; I lost not only the relationship I put my whole heart into, but I lost my friend.

Looking back on it all now, I can see that the dynamic was never going to work; it’s almost as if I needed to be removed from the situation to see that I was losing myself, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t still hurt.

The general theme of the song revolves around natural elements of weather and whatnot because at the time, that’s the only way I could process how I was feeling.

It’s as if everything was literally, physically just cold.

One of my favorite lyrics in this song happens during the bridge. It goes “I know that time will do its thing, work its hardest to mend me, but the cold is ruining my sanity,” and that sums up the entirety of what it felt to lose this person.

It was like I knew we could never be together again, and I didn’t even want to because I knew there was no coming back from this, but my heart still had all of the magic we made playing on a constant loop in my mind.

Things don’t always work out between two people, and that’s only human, but I felt like I had the ground ripped right out from under me. I felt misunderstood and left behind, and that hurt.

All my memories of the past and all my plans for the future suddenly completely shifted in a way that, for a long time, I couldn’t figure out how to adjust to, so this song is how all of that felt.

-C.M.